Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
