She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize