I love black thongs
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
