I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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