I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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