During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We need a shit load of segways right now
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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