it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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