just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
