I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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