even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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