I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
