lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
