Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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