and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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