i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
