with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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