Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize