she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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