How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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