I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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