Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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