Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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