i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
