I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
