I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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