drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
