my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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