i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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