Pappa wants mamma naked
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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