At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize