hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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