david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
