eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
