weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
