what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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