I wish I only lived at night.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
