it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
