am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
