I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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