oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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