i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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