She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
