I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize