he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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