she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize