pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
