Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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