it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
