If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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