sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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