Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize