but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize