If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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