And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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