ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
