there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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