I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
