like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
