all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
