What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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