Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
