Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my shit smells like andre
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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