God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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