I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
