we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
